Tag: giveaway

Excerpt from A Case Study in Natural Selection and How It Applies to Love:

YESTERDAY I SAW JAMIE GOODWIN BURST into flame.
He was just sitting on one of those cheap aluminum-back chairs we all have, eyes closed in the shade of
Hester’s old RV, trying to get some relief from the heat, same as everyone else. I was checking the stock
of coolers, seeing if any held even a bit of water left to siphon out, when Jamie let out a tiny gasp like he
woke from a bad dream. If it was a bad dream he had, he woke to something worse, ’cause little glints of
light popped and fizzed off him like the sparklers we used to wave around on Fourth of July. Smoke or
steam or something else rose up, then Jamie’s eyes went cartoon big and he turned into a fireball.
Jamie’s the fourth person to spontaneously combust this month. Two women burned last Wednesday, and
old Tom Puddingpaw blazed the week prior. Before that, we averaged onlyone or two fireballs a month,
but now it’s getting worse. And after Jamie burned, Ms. Crankshaw didn’t even cancel lessons like she
normally did, as if coming to terms that folks fireballing was the new natural order of things.
“That’s another lesson in evolution. One day we’re apes, then we’re humans, now we’re fireballs.”
She didn’t really say that, but she might as well have.
At least Loud John and Rudy were there when Jamie burned, and they contained his cinders so it didn’t
spread like when Quiet John caught flame. But I still saw the whole thing, and it still scared me, even if
others pretend to somehow be getting used to it.
“I watched him die,” I tell my friends. “Jamie didn’t scream. I think he tried, since his mouth opened
wide, but nothing came out except flames.”
“Why is this happening for no reason?” Ogre asks, though that question is rhetorical because he doesn’t
expect an answer. His voice hitches and he overcompensates for it by yelling, “When’s it going to stop?”
That’s rhetorical too.

Prologue
Wild Mustang Ranch, Montana/Wyoming Border
Emma Horserider pressed the gas pedal of her battered pick-up truck like a NASCAR driver in
a dead heat with the devil. She hoped no mountain goats decided to go for a walk in the middle
of the road winding around the side of the rocky cliff. She didn’t have time to stop and wait for
the stubborn beasts to decide if they would charge her truck or get out of the way. She was on a
mission to protect the horses she loved and help to keep them unfettered by human saddles and
reins.
The call from Margie Hunter, the long-time director of the Wild Mustang Ranch, had been
frantic, almost incoherent, “Terrible. Slaughtered. Horses panicked. Get here fast!”
A lump rose in her throat, and tears threatened at the recollection of Margie’s grief-strangled
message. She shook her head.
“None of that nonsense, Horserider. Marines don’t cry. Semper Fi!” As she shouted out the last
words with a defiant whoop, she rounded the last bend in the road. Stunned at seeing the gates
closed, she skidded to a halt in front of the white truck with the ranch logo parked dead center in
the way. A string bean of a man in a worn Stetson, boots, and shearling vest leaned against the
hood of the vehicle, a shotgun cradled in his arms.

“Holy crap.” She’d never seen anyone bearing arms out here, much less standing guard. Things
must be even worse than she thought. Grateful she’d brought her trusty Mossberg, Emma rolled
down her window.
“Thank God you’re here, Miss Emma.” Ralph, the director’s aged right hand man removed his
hat and dragged the sleeve of his red plaid shirt across his pleated brow. “This is the worst thing
I’ve ever seen in my life.” The creases on his sun-weathered face deepened. “We have no idea
how it happened. No one’s been up here except the employees.” He pointed at the video camera
mounted on the gatepost. “Nobody came through this gate last night. No one.”
“Let me get in, see what’s going on.”
Shoulders sagging, he nodded and opened the gate. “Talk to them, Miss Emma,” he called as
she drove through. “They trust you.”
Much as she kept her gift under wraps from the outside world, here in this equine sanctuary,
everyone knew of her special bond with the animals. Her ancestor, Beautiful Blackfeather,
would have called it horse medicine. Her brother Bert called it telepathy, in keeping with his
work as Director of Homeland Security’s Anomaly Defense Division. No matter what other
people called this ability, Emma had been born with an unbreakable sacred bond with horses,
one handed down through generations of the Crow or Absaalooke people. When old age,
sickness, or injury carried a mustang away, it was hard on the entire herd. But…
Death by violence?

Five Things I’ve Tried but Will Never Do Again
By Sharon Buchbinder
While I have more, for this post I decided to go for some of the most ridiculous ones.

1. Rock wall climbing: Every year on my birthday, I try to do one thing that scares me. When I
   turned 60, I decided to try rock wall climbing. We belonged to a fitness center with a big one and
   those little kids were like armies of spider. Easy, right? After brief instructions, I harnessed up, put
   the climbing shoes on and began hauling myself up the wall. At the end of what felt like climbing
   Mt. Everest, I looked down to see I’d made it up one story. Slid down the rope and slunk out the
   door.
2. The Blue Man Group: In Las Vegas we were convinced this was a MUST SEE ACT. It’s not—
   unless you’re a 10 year-old boy and enjoy fake vomiting and wearing ponchos for the seats in the
   splash zone.
3. Cutting my Bangs: One time I became very frustrated with my bangs. It was late at night. I was
   annoyed. I had a pair of sharp scissors. Ever see Jane Wyman in Johnny Belinda? Like that, only
   shorter and more crooked.
4. Owning a Boat: My husband came from a family that was active in power boating. His dad had
   boats, until he decided to do his own (terrible) repairs and disconnected the flying bridge and fell
   off the ladder. We decided if we were boating, we’d do better, get someone to maintain it for us.
5. That’s good until you’re in the middle of a harbor with a bad cell connection trying to reach Sea- Tow for the third week in a row. Now we fish with a captain and he owns the boat.

1. Driving Cross-Country with a U-Haul Filled with Cats: Yes, you read that correctly. FULL OF
   CATS. A dozen (12) to be exact. You see, my husband and I had this crazy hobby, breeding and
   showing cats. When we moved from Albany, NY to Chicago, IL, there were no cat moving
   services, so we had to do it ourselves. We also had two dogs. To give the cats room for litter pans,
   food and water, we arrayed show cages on the walls of the truck. We also put a blow-up mattress
   between the cages so we could take turns driving and nap. As my husband took a nap, we had a
   massive jailbreak and twelve cats running around in the back of the van, along with some pretty
   excited dogs. Yeah, that was fun
   I hope you learned from my experiences—and had a chuckle or two. Tell us what is something you will
   NEVER do again to be eligible for a $5 Amazon Gift Certificate!

Mia walked out of the dressing room, her coat slung over an arm. She’d changed out of her costume into another white
dress, a filmy chiffon number with a low neckline and sparkling beadwork down the front. She was chilly, but she wanted Charlie
to get a load of her in it before she covered up with a coat.
She spotted D.C. leaning against the wall just outside and rushed into his arms. “I was hoping you were still here!” she
exclaimed, squeezing him. “Wasn’t that exhilarating?”
“More people ought to join show business,” he replied with a grin. “They’d forget all about booze after getting up on a
stage like that in a place like this.”
“We just might be the new premier entertainment around here,” Mia said. “And our names will be on the marquee.”
“If that crowd was anything to go by, I think you’re onto something. What are you doing now? Got a hot date tonight?”
D.C. smirked. “I noticed Charlie sniffing around out here before the show.”
“They’re both taking me to dinner,” Mia said, shoving his chest a little. “Can’t have much of a date with my brother
hanging around.”
D.C. looped her arm through his and they strolled toward the lobby. There was a handful of acts left for the night, so the
corridors were still bustling with performers, some stopping to offer brief congratulations. “Well, you’re in for a treat for the rest
of your life, then, because I don’t see Nick laying off anytime soon.”
“He will if he knows what’s good for him,” Mia retorted. “How about you? You and Mac heading someplace fun? He
doesn’t have a gig tonight?”
“No gig. Took the night off special for me. Says he’s got a surprise.” D.C. shrugged and smiled coyly.
The lobby was chilly, as if the door had just been opened and let the cold air in. Charlie was already walking toward her, an
appreciative smile on his face to let her know that her dress had been a good choice.
He greeted her with a light kiss on the cheek, like before, only this time, it lingered a breath longer than it should have.
“You were incredible, kid,” he said. “The start of a big career here. Nick’s already got big plans for you. You, too, London.” He
shook D.C.’s hand. “Both of you knocked their socks off.”
“Oh, go on,” she said, lightly swatting his arm. “But we were pretty good, weren’t we?” Charlie laughed. “Where’s Nick?”
“He just stepped out a second ago. Vinnie came running in, something about the end of the world with the warehouse.” He
jerked his head toward the door. “Come on, let’s go save him.” He pulled her coat from her arm and opened it for her.
“I suppose I can help until Mac gets here,” D.C. said, releasing her arm so she could put on her coat.
She was just reaching into a sleeve when the loud screech of tires from a car careening down the street pierced the air. Mia
froze.
In the space between seconds, she became aware of her own breathing, heavy and echoing in her ears, as her head snapped
toward the sound.
Then, the glass lobby doors shattered, tiny bits of glass exploding toward them. Charlie shouted and grabbed her, pulling
her out of the way. Her cheeks stung, letting her know he hadn’t been fast enough, but all thought stopped when she made out the
sound of gunfire an instant later.
Nick. 
Nick had just stepped outside a second ago, Charlie said.
He stepped outside.