I surveyed the tiny island and a shudder shook me. Except for the trees full of cane spiders
there wasn’t any place for me to change. I jerked my thumb at the warriors. “I don’t want to strip
down in front of all of them.”
Uncle Saul turned to the five Coletti warriors who had been following our conversations with
great interest. “Check the island for any signs of the Rodan.”
“As you command,” they said in unison, clamped their right arms against their chests and
I smacked Hothar’s hands as he tried to unbutton my shirt. “I don’t need your help to undress. If
you’ll both turn around, I’ll get out of my fat suit.”
“As my lady wishes.” He obediently turned to face the ocean.
As soon as my uncle had his back to me, I kicked my boots off and stripped down. I tugged and
tugged on the fat suit’s zipper. The friggin’ thing was glued shut. I yanked and yanked and
yanked some more. Since Uncle Saul didn’t like me cussing, I went with, “Son of a monkey.
Hothar asked casually. “Do you need help?”
“I do, but don’t you dare laugh at me.”
“We wouldn’t think of it,” Uncle Saul promised solemnly.
“Fine. Get me out of this.”
Both men turned around. There wasn’t a trace of emotion on their faces as they studied the fat
“A very effective disguise.” Hothar glanced at my uncle. “Cut it off?”
Uncle Saul bobbed his head. “I agree.”
They pulled their knives and went to work.
I heard a muffled snicker and looked over my shoulder. Uncle Saul was grinning like a loon.
“Sorry sweetheart, but you gotta admit this is pretty damn funny,” Uncle Saul said. “You
resemble the marshmallow man from that silly ghost movie.”
“How was I to know the suit ballooned up in salt water?” I expelled a long breath when the foam
rubber concoction fell away. The ocean breeze was pure heaven. “Thank you.”
“You are truly beautiful,” Hothar stated.
The naked desire in Hothar’s eyes had me blushing. “And you win the grand prize for awesome
“Knock it off you two.” Uncle Saul’s mouth tightened into a hard line. “Get dressed. The
Overlord will be here shortly. He’s anxious to interrogate Jarok.”
My eyes widened in horror. “Do I still look like I have the plague?”
“The Overlord won’t even notice,” Uncle Saul promised, refusing to meet my gaze.
Seriously? My skin was the color of a boiled lobster with pieces of white foam still stuck to it.
“What happened with the horrendous space battle?”
“The Overlord,” Hothar said and handed me my clothes.
“Right. The big scary came, saw, and blew them all to hell.”
Guttural screams rent the air.
I took one look at the horde of hairy spiders covering Jarok and scrambled up Hothar’s back like
it was the Matterhorn. Once I was perched on his shoulder, I cried, “You said cane spiders were
“Those are not cane spiders,” Hothar replied, endeavoring to loosen my death grip on his head.
“Language, young lady,” Uncle Saul warned as he reached up to pull me off Hothar’s shoulders.
Immense power rippled the air around us as the Overlord teleported in.
We all froze.
Zarek’s cold amber gaze examined us and the pieces of my fat suit. He cocked a dark brow. “I
cannot wait to hear your explanation.”
“Spiders frighten my mate,” Hothar clarified.
I smacked the top of Hothar’s head. “Am not.”
Letting out a sigh, my uncle pointed at Jarok. “Spiders.”
As if on cue, Jarok uttered a bone-chilling shriek.
Zarek took it all in and tapped his warrior’s bracelet. Ten seconds later, the spiders scurried
back into the monstrous web.
“You don’t think they ate the other warriors, do you?”
“They did not. I had them teleport back to the ship.” Zarek replied.
“Oh, that’s good.” I released my death grip on Hothar’s head and smoothed his hair down.
Uncle Saul plucked me off Hothar’s shoulders. “You should be.”
“Before you return Casey to the ship, make sure she is dressed. My crew knows she is your
daughter General, and Jones females are highly sought after.”
“Casey is mine,” Hothar growled, a hand on his sword.
An aura of sheer menace radiated from Zarek. “Are you challenging me?”
Wazzock’s piss! I jumped in front of Hothar. “No! He’s not. He’s annoyed that Waewae got
away. We all are. Annoyed. That is.” There was no way in hell I wanted the two of them
fighting. It would get messy. Really messy and for some darn reason I couldn’t let Zarek hurt or
kill Hothar. What was up with that?
All the Overlord’s terrifying power was suddenly wrapped around me and I flinched when he
started mucking about in my head. How had he gotten through my shields? Using every trick
Quinn had taught me I tried to evict him, but nothing worked.
Zarek’s deadly voice sounded in my mind. “You wouldn’t let me harm Hothar?”
“How did you plan on stopping me?”
“I’d keep dumping you in the ocean until you cooled down.”
Zarek leaned down and whispered in my ear. “It wouldn’t have worked.”
The Joys of Menopause
Menopause is the transition period in a woman’s life when her ovaries go on strike and all
hell breaks loose. We become a human roller coaster. One minute we’re fine the next we’re
Attila the Hun in a dress.
Here are the fun things you get to look forward to:
1 – Hair starts growing in places you really rather it didn’t and you suddenly look like Groucho
Marx. If that wasn’t bad enough, you realize you’re getting a little thin on top. Okay, you can give
your husband a run for his money. Buying several wigs will take care of that little problem until
the hot flashes hit.
2 – With one look you can send grown men running for their lives. Okay, the knife
clenched in your fist doesn’t hurt either.
3 – Deprived of chocolate you have the ability to take down an armed felon without
breaking a sweat or a nail. Hey, who needs the S.W.A.T. team?
4 – You don’t need a sauna, you are one. Those wonderful sweat stains and sodden
hair are so very becoming.
5 – Chocolate is the only thing standing between you and a lifetime behind bars.
6 – Your sex drive sputters to a complete and utter stop. If a lap dance from a hot
Chippendale dancer doesn’t get you excited, your husband’s in for a long dry spell.
I tried everything from Black Cohosh to soy to Evening Primrose Oil and finally settled on
Prempo to keep my homicidal tendencies under control. The good news is, the police no longer
do hourly drive-bys on my house, my hot flashes are gone and my sex drive is back. Now where
did I put my little black negligee?